IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe today that everyone has a right to access to the Internet and that governments should provide this access for free. Other people believe that access to the internet is not a right and should be paid for like other services. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#people #right #access #internet #governments #services
Nowadays, surfing on the
internet
 is one of the most significant
activity
Change to a plural noun
activities
show examples
 modern human beings perform
while
 shopping, learning, sharing information and joining social media online. The question arises whether
this
access
 should be free and be provided by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
, or,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, it should be a regular personal expenditure.
Internet
access
 is one of the common shares of the money
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on everyday items like mobile phones, television, nutrition, housing, clothes and transportation. As for any other
spending
Add a comma
,spending
show examples
 there is no reasonable argument why you should not pay for going online by yourself. Elderly people might not even find it essential
consequently
 they will probably spare their money
as
Change preposition
by
show examples
 abstaining from
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
internet
access
.
On the other hand
, the whole world is benefiting from the
internet
 making life easier and more comfortable as giving you the possibility to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
fast and convenient management of your business, online banking, education, information and numerous other items.
In addition
, areas with a lower income in comparison to richer ones might not be capable of affording
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper
internet
access
.
This
 fact might have an adverse impact on children, students and employees. As a case in point, the corona pandemic revealed that youngsters with
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
insufficient
access
 to the
internet
 were not able to keep up with education during homeschooling.
This
 commonly appeared in families with a low income.
Furthermore
, slower
internet
 is an undeniable circumstance comparing the countryside to the cities. Usually, tiny villages are not adequately supplied with sufficient
internet
. Those inhabitants exhibit disadvantages if politicians fail to manage the widespread construction of wired
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
.
That is
also
 a reason why young grown-ups leave their
home-towns
Correct your spelling
hometowns
show examples
 with the result of diminishing infrastructures and
work forces
Correct your spelling
workforces
show examples
 in these areas.
Although
 you can find pros and cons for both positions, I am a strong advocate for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
gratis
access
 to the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
Finally
,
this
 will result in more equitable opportunities in society and
therefore
 in flourishing economies, open-minded residents and a pleasant living atmosphere.
Submitted by i.reichwaldt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: