IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Computers have made it possible for office workers to work remotely instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employers. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#computers #office #workers #work #offices #home #employers #development
The issue of whether distanced
work
 is beneficial or has crucial repercussions has sparked heated controversy, with the opponents maintaining that the employees should find a job from home as it is more efficient, whilst the supporters claim that working on-site includes lots of prons
such
 as communication. Personally,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 support the latter even though the former has some positive attributes. First and foremost, it is often argued that individuals who
work
 in-office are more blissful. Indeed, human beings need to interact with others, exchange ideas
as well as
 encounter new people.
For instance
, a recent study revealed that the population who
work
 remotely are not prone to evolve their performance and signs of depression occurred
such
 as isolation and antisocial behaviour. Another point in support of my opinion is that people should face everyday challenges
such
 as traffic jams, queues and arguments with their colleagues in order to maintain their brain healthy.
In particular
, it is widely known that the community that has the aforementioned habits practice their mind and have it in vigilance for the reason that without difficulties life will be ordinary.
Therefore
 life will be boring.
However
, it is claimed that employees who choose to job remotely experience a convenient lifestyle. Admittedly, through the comfort of ,home anyone could face the concrete jungle and waste their time driving from and to
work
.
For example
, It is mankind tends to be exhausted from long distances and the hours that they spend stuck on the roads because of the traffic. All things considered,
although
 on-the-spot
work
 has some benefits that are not negligible on the grounds of employees' lifestyles. I firmly believe that face-to-face contact is far more fundamental for a person's life
as well as
 rainy days are an integral part of someone's spirit.
Submitted by mariamelanaki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: