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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the charts below show the internet use in different purposes in Australia in 2010,2011 and the percentage by users .

the charts below show the internet use in different purposes in Australia in 2010,2011 and the percentage by users .
#show #internet #purposes #australia #percentage #users
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The following charts depict the usage of the internet in three different types (paying
cash
 online, social news, and emailing) in Australia from 2010 to 2011. The units are measured by per
cent
. Looking from an
overall
 perspective, it is readily apparent that the elderly aged crowd tended to dominate in both paying
cash
 online and emailing the total proportion in a year period,
while
 the youngsters association accounted for the whole rate in social publishing. As for paying
cash
 online, the above 65+ and 40-60 aged band were the highest numbers at over 75 and precisely 80 per
cent
 respectively.
On the other hand
, the 18-25 and 26-40 factions showed broadly similar trends in the graph at around 61 and 62 per
cent
.
In addition
, the 60-65 aged club was at 70.
However
, the guys' organization, who were the least per
cent
 in paying
cash
 online, comprised the all per
cent
 in social television at barely 100. Following that, the 26-40 and 40-60 aged parties were comparatively lower above 80 and 70 per
cent
 respectively.
Although
 the above 65 aged party was the largest statistic in
cash
, in social radio, they were the smallest per
cent
 in social publishing, and the 60-65 elderly troop was slightly bigger than the oldest body at below 40.
Lastly
, the oldest faction lead the chart again at 80 per
cent
, followed by the 40-60 aged band, which always showed the same pattern, at about 76 per
cent
.
Furthermore
, the 18-25 and 26-40 young people clubs were almost identical to each other at 60 and approximately 62 per
cent
 respectively. On balance, the 60- 65 older troop was slightly lower at 60 per
cent
.
Submitted by Zolboo on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cash, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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