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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the information average number of visitors entering a museum in summer and winter in 2003. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

The line graph shows the information average number of visitors entering a museum in summer and winter in 2003. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.
#line #information #visitors #museum #summer #winter #report #university #lecturer
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the graph illustrates data about
average
Add an article
the average
an average
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 rate of tourists visiting the museum during two sessions namely, summer and winter throughout the period of 2003.
overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the figure witnessed a
downwords
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downward
downwards
 trend.
as
Capitalize word
As
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 in summer the
number
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 of
visitors
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 higher than
rhe
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the
number
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 of
visitors
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 in winter. During summer 2003, the tourists accounted for 600
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person
Change to a plural noun
people
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 at 9:00 AM in the morning.
then
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 the
number
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 of
visitors
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 who
are comes
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come
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 to the museum in the afternoon period are increased sharply to 1500
person
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 approximately. afterwards, the
number
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 of people begin of decreasing
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steadily
steadly
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steadily
 until they
Correct your spelling
reached
reched
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reached
 around 900
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person
Change to a plural noun
people
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 at 16:00 PM.
then
Linking Words
 the figure experienced a plummet untill the
visitors
Use synonyms
 reached 200
person
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 only at 17:00 Am.
while
Linking Words
 people in winter 2003, the numbed of
visitors
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 in the morning was double incresed from 200 to 400
person
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 in the first one hour of opining the museum.
then
Linking Words
 the tourists rate was fluctuating between 10:00AM to 12:PM to reach 600
person
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 eventually.
then
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 the
number
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 of
visitors
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 dropped rapidly to 200
person
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 at 14:30 PM. after that the
visitors
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 rate remained constant from 15:00 PM to 18:00 and accounted for 100
person
Use synonyms
 .
Submitted by aliaelarabi5 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, person with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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