IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below gives information about the most common sports played in New Zealand in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about the most common sports played in New Zealand in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph illustrates data on sports that people in New Zealand were likely to participate in most in 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
 was similar in athletics, basketball, and tennis.
However
Linking Words
, that distribution in cricket, martial arts, netball, soccer, swimming, and other sports was not equivalent. The percentage of
girls
Use synonyms
 in athletics is about 4%, compared to 3% of
boys
Use synonyms
. Basketball was a little more preferred by
boys
Use synonyms
 than by
girls
Use synonyms
. The figures were slightly over 6% and 5% respectively.
Likewise
Linking Words
, tennis
also
Linking Words
 attracted
boys
Use synonyms
 a bit more than
girls
Use synonyms
.
Boys
Use synonyms
’ involvement in
this
Linking Words
 activity was nearly 8%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the figure for
girls
Use synonyms
 was about 7%. Around 25% of participants in netball were
girls
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of
boys
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 sport was nearly 0%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the figure for
boys
Use synonyms
 in soccer was almost 5 times higher than their female counterparts, at just under 25% and approximately 5% respectively.
Additionally
Linking Words
, cricket
also
Linking Words
 saw a significant difference between the number of
boys
Use synonyms
 (10%) and
girls
Use synonyms
 (slightly over 0%).

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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