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Band 3.5

The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.

The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.
#unemployment #rates #country #kingdom
The bar chart
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrates
show examples
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
unemployment
 percentage in four countries of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.
Overall
,3 countries
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
England,Wales and Northern Ireland experienced declines.
However
Add a comma
However,
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 quantity of
unemployment
 female in Scotland rose by the end of the period . In 2013,the rate
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 England was 6,8%.But
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 went down to 6,5%in 2014.
Moreover
,in Scotland,the percentage has risen by
6%over
Correct your spelling
6 over
 the year.
In contrast
, the number of women who could not find a job in Northern Ireland was 5.6% in 2013, just ahead of in 2014
which
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the
unemployment
 rate for women was 4.6% in Northern Ireland. (which was the lowest amount of
unemployment
 rate over the period).
Furthermore
, the percentage of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 who could not work as employees in Wales in 2013 was slightly as many as people in 2014 at 5.4% and 5%,
Correct your spelling
respectively
respectivel
Correct your spelling
respectively
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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