IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #cities #face #life #government #move #towns
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Urban
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The urban
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 community has several problems which they face in their daily
lives
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. For these problems, the state can motivate them to
move
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 to
suborb
Correct your spelling
suburb
suburbs
areas
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 or regional
towns
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while
Linking Words
 facilitating basic requirements for
people
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 are
are
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
unwilling to
move
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
towns
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 beyond the city.
People
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 have a right to decide where they need to stay and take the
previlages
Correct your spelling
privileges
privilege
 from the government
while
Linking Words
 spending their
lives
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according to
Linking Words
 their wishes. Most of the
people
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 in large
cities
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 live in apartments or in flats because of less space in the city. Some of them have quality apartments or flats even though some of them
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not relevant space to live
according to
Linking Words
 the family size or basic needs.
For example
Linking Words
, some poor families live in small houses though they have more family members.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, they are suffering from stress and anxiety since they do not have
proper
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a proper
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 place to relax.
However
Linking Words
, if they do not prefer to
move
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other places, they need to request some opinions from relevant authorities to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their basic requirements
such
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 as food
sanitory
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sanitary
facilities
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as well as
Linking Words
 health support.
People
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 would like to gather and live in
cities
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 because of some
facilities
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 in
cities
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such
Linking Words
 as schools, hospitals and shopping markets. They suppose that they will ease their
lives
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 and they do not need to commute to
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
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 if they are living in urban
areas
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.
Therfore
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Therefore
,
people
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 prefer to stay in
cities
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 than
regionl
Correct your spelling
regional
towns
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the government have a huge responsibility to encourage and motivate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals to
move
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other places which are located away
frem
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 the city by facilitating what they need to maintain their
lives
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
government
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the government
show examples
 can
commenced
Wrong verb form
commence
show examples
 schools, hospitals, roads and open spaces to get the
people
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's attraction towards the
suborb
Correct your spelling
suburb
suburbs
areas
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, if
people
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 have every
Use synonyms
facilities
Change to a singular noun
facility
show examples
 with health
educations
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education
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 and
job
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the job
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 market in regional
towns
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 they will
move
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 to these
cities
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
 can implement new projects to motivate the
people
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 in indirect ways to take their attraction about the small
towns
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
people
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 can select where they need to live and
Correct article usage
the governmet
show examples
governmet
Correct your spelling
government
 can prompt the community by facilitating
people
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's needs in
regionala
Correct your spelling
regional
areas
Use synonyms
 to attract them to transfer from
cities
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 to small
towns
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.
Although
Linking Words
 large
cities
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 have a lot of
facilities
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,
people
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 can live
camly
Correct your spelling
calmly
 and
quitely
Correct your spelling
quietly
 if they have basic
rwquirements
Correct your spelling
requirements
 in small
cities
Use synonyms
 which have developed with the help of the states.
Submitted by shanikanir86 on

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban congestion
  • traffic jams
  • lengthy commutes
  • high cost of living
  • financial strain
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • quality of life
  • green space
  • recreational areas
  • social isolation
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • public services strain
  • overpopulation
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