Some pepole say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become disciplined. Others argue that teenagers should not sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#pepole #teenagers #work #money #lessons #sacrifice #rest #activities

There are several impactful activities that teenagers could do in order to fill their free time,

likewise

working as part-time workers or resting at home.

Although

it will be tiring and take their time to study, I agree that in order to gain basic value and discipline lessons, adolescents should take part-time

jobs

. On the one hand, working in adolescence will hinder them from having more individual study sessions. It has a major drawback, which they could not concentrate, and their performance will decrease.

Moreover

, emotional maturity in their age group has not yet

firmified

Correct your spelling

fortified

. They have a tendency to experience a high level of stress as they ought to not only prioritise their education but

also

prepare

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

future.

Therefore

, the workflow in part-time

jobs

will prevent them from gaining more knowledge and widening their capacity in learning, which can

thus

lead to burnout and decrease their mental health.

On the other hand

, most people believe that there are many multifarious benefits for students to have a part-time job.

The first

Correct article usage

First

show examples

and foremost is that as their lifespan increases, they have to fulfil their entertainment needs,

likewise

with a laptop, mobile phone, or concert ticket.

Instead

of being fully dependent on their parents to get those things, they choose to work and try to be responsible for their academic

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

For example

, during

summer

Correct article usage

the summer

show examples

holidays, many students will work part-time

jobs

while

preparing their applications to universities.

In addition

, their emotional maturity will increase as they face difficulties and tackle those on their own.

Consequently

, they have the life skills that are required

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to be young adults and are well-prepared to face their university years. In conclusion, even though working part-time

jobs

could hinder adolescents’ performance in academic life, it enables them to gain valuable life lessons

such

as discipline and responsibility. I remain firmly

convinved

Correct your spelling

convinced

that the negative trend could be tackled by managing their time and workflow.

Submitted by sidneynatasha16 on Thu Jul 20 2023

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for instance
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such as
namely
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take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some pepole say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become disciplined. Others argue that teenagers should not sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Write a letter to an airline manager regarding your bad experience on a recent flight. Pease say - Where and when did you fly? - What happened on the flight? - Give a suggestion how this issue could be resolved or prevented.

Some people believe that universities should only offer places to students with high marks, while others believe that people of all ages should be allowed even if they do not well in school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many feel that students today should learn practical skills at school such as car maintenance and managing a bank account. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that in the future, environmental problems will mean that we are unable to live on this planet. In order to survive, the human species will need to find another planet that can support life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development ?