IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the hotel's customer service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010.

#visitors #parkway #hotel #customer #service #questionnaire #guests #years
These pie charts compare the experience of some visitors during their stay
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the Parkway Hotel in two different years, in 2005 and 2010.
Overall
, we can observe that between the two
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are differences. In 2010, the rate was better than in 2005.
Firstly
, we will pay attention to 2005. In
this
 year,
aproximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the visitors rated the customer service as satisfactory.
Then
, we see that
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
21% of people
thougt
Correct your spelling
thought
 that the service was quite bad. After, we observe the answer very poor and good
had
Correct word choice
and had
show examples
 the same percentage of opinions, 15%.
Finally
, only 5% of people rated their stay as excellent.
Secondly
, we will focus on 2010. In
this
 period, the negative rates decreased, people who thought that their experience was very poor or poor was only 4% and 12% respectively. Visitors who rated the experience as satisfactory
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
17%. The positive reviews were duplicated, with 28%
saiying
Correct your spelling
saying
the customer service was excellent and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
39% saying it was good.
Submitted by santos_dij on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: