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Band 5

Men and women are capable of doing all job equally well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#men #women #job
It is argued that
men
 and
women
 can do
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 jobs equally. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 both can
show
 the same
performance
 in
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
, which
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
 intellectual capability, but if the task
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical abilities like mining,
some
Correct word choice
and some
show examples
 sports,
then
men
 mostly outperform
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
. Because of
this
, I partially agree with
this
 statement. On the one hand, if we look at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs, which are need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
intellectual, creative thinking or
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
,
women
 can
show
 the
performance
 as
good
Change the word
well
show examples
 as
men
show
. And it was
proved
Correct your spelling
proven
show examples
 scientifical that
women
 and
men
 can make a good team, if they
work
 together
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 have a different
prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
show examples
 and solution ways for the problems. And
this
 helps them to get better
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
.
On the other hand
, there are a few tasks, which involve mostly physical
work
, and most of the time
men
 do better
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
women
 in
this
 kind of
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
.
For instance
 mining or some sport like soccer, weightlifting and so on. Because
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
 physiology is more suitable
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 kind of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. If
Correct article usage
the comparision
show examples
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 between
men
 and
women
 in these kinds of
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 is unfair. Because of
this
, in
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
sports’
Change noun form
sports
show examples
 groups are divided for gender to make things fair.
However
, we can not do
this
 in workplaces, and it still
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 unfair
women
Change preposition
to women
show examples
, which do physical
work
 with
men
. In conclusion, if
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
 does not involve physical
work
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
men
 and
women
 mostly can
show
 the same
performance
, but if the job requires some
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 it is hard to say that both sides
show
 the same
performance
.
Submitted by aliguluhajiyev on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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