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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for the individual and family than eating out in restaurants. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #home #restaurants
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It is known by most
of
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apply
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people
Add an article
the people
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 that a
life-balance
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life balance
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 it is mandatory to achieve a senior age with health and
diposition
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disposition
deposition
. Nowadays it is normal to decide to prepare meals at
home
. I totally agree with that because, from my point of view, when a person can
prerare
Correct your spelling
prepare
 meals at
home
, they eat
conscious
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consciously
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 and it is a great way to ager with health and energy to enjoy the senior age. First of all, whenever
people
 have the chance to cook at
home
, they
ought
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toought
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 do it. As they can select vegetables, fruits and healthy foods in grocery
store
Fix the agreement mistake
stores
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,
the
Change the word
their
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 meals will become rich and healthier than if they eat processed food in restaurants.
Furthermore
, they are apt to plan a weekly menu in order to do a grocery shop list with essential items
avoinding
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avoiding
 unhealthy foods,
such
 as cereal, candies and sugar
bevarages
Correct your spelling
beverages
.
Moreover
,
due to
corona virus
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coronavirus
show examples
 19, there are a significant number of
people
 working at
home
.
Consequently
, most of them are having a work-life balance, which is possible
improve
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to improve
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them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 unhealthy
behavior
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behaviour
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 about how
nutricion
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nutrition
 and sedentarism will bring several consequences when they became older.
Furthermore
, when a family build a
health
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healthy
show examples
 mind, it will be great to teach them children how they should obtain great healthy habits since they are young. Currently, most
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
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 of parents
have
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has
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 been avoiding
to offer
Change the verb form
offering
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 sugar
until
Change preposition
apply
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to
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 children.
As a result
,
this
 new generation will grow up with a different mindset where
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
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 sugar, processed food or drink soda can not be part of
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
 routine.
To sum up
, cooking at
home
 will improve unhealthy habits and will offer a joyful
life-balance
Correct your spelling
life balance
show examples
 even when the senior age comes.
People
 are totally apt to change
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
 lives with a healthy
minset
Correct your spelling
mindset
 and it becomes enjoyable if they could plan and prepare healthy and tasty foods.
Submitted by liviatentor on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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