IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries with high unemployment rate, it is not necessary to provide secondary education for students who cannot find jobs in the future,do you agree or disagree?

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Some
people
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 believe that countries with huge numbers of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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unemployed public should not give secondary education to pupils who will not be able to acquire
work
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 after completing school. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with the above and believe that students should be allowed to go to the secondary
level
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.
Firstly
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, learning is the key to many aspects of life so students need secondary education so that they can be able to find
work
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 even if the number of
people
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 who are unemployed is high, they can find
work
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 in other countries.
For instance
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, if one country`s rate of jobless
people
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 is high another country has challenges in finding workers locally, so they will find them abroad which means that those who completed secondary
level
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 with get opportunities for employment.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 are easy to manage in a country if they are educated, so it is better to give them a chance to complete their secondary
level
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.
For example
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, if
people
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 manage to reach the secondary
level
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 they can be able to create their own
jobs
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 and earn a living as compared to those not completing school they will resort to committing crimes since they lack knowledge. Admittedly, it is useless to provide secondary study to society if there is nowhere for them to
work
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 because it is time-wasting, since nowadays there is an increase in alternative
jobs
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 that do not need a secondary
level
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.
Such
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 as an increase in online
work
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 that does not need high education and they are hands-on. In summary, I disagree with the statement that students should not complete the secondary
level
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, if there are no
jobs
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 for them because careers can be found in other countries and
also
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 if
people
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 are educated they can create their own
jobs
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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