IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In some countries with high unemployment rate, it is not necessary to provide secondary education for students who cannot find jobs in the future,do you agree or disagree?

#countries #unemployment #rate #education #students #jobs #future
Some
people
 believe that countries with huge numbers of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployed public should not give secondary education to pupils who will not be able to acquire
work
 after completing school. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with the above and believe that students should be allowed to go to the secondary
level
.
Firstly
, learning is the key to many aspects of life so students need secondary education so that they can be able to find
work
 even if the number of
people
 who are unemployed is high, they can find
work
 in other countries.
For instance
, if one country`s rate of jobless
people
 is high another country has challenges in finding workers locally, so they will find them abroad which means that those who completed secondary
level
 with get opportunities for employment.
Furthermore
,
people
 are easy to manage in a country if they are educated, so it is better to give them a chance to complete their secondary
level
.
For example
, if
people
 manage to reach the secondary
level
 they can be able to create their own
jobs
 and earn a living as compared to those not completing school they will resort to committing crimes since they lack knowledge. Admittedly, it is useless to provide secondary study to society if there is nowhere for them to
work
 because it is time-wasting, since nowadays there is an increase in alternative
jobs
 that do not need a secondary
level
.
Such
 as an increase in online
work
 that does not need high education and they are hands-on. In summary, I disagree with the statement that students should not complete the secondary
level
, if there are no
jobs
 for them because careers can be found in other countries and
also
 if
people
 are educated they can create their own
jobs
.
Submitted by fideliscity on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: