Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and new events. Do you think advantages of this technology outweigh the disadvantages?

Social
media
is
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
method to stay in touch with others and events. Using social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
on the internet has brought a significant
noumber
Correct your spelling
number
of opportunities for
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
and the
puls
Correct your spelling
plus
show examples
points of these new
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
ways
outnumber
Change the verb form
outnumbers
show examples
their negative aspects. Connecting with
people
or following events
by
Change preposition
via
show examples
the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
are
advantagous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
in the past two decades. First of all, Social
media
users should not travel to remote
distinations
Correct your spelling
destinations
for visiting their relatives or friends.
Secondly
, These groups of individuals would be able to save their
invalueable
Correct your spelling
invaluable
valuable
time and spend it on more important activities, they could
also
prevent wasting their money.
Thirdly
, by using social
media
apps or websites,
people
could follow different events easily,
as a result
, they will not have problems
such
as sticking in traffic congestions.
Although
watching festivals or celebrations
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not desired
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
every person
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online, In these cases saving time is more
achieveable
Correct your spelling
achievable
. Similar to every phenomenon in the modern age, social
media
has its own cons. Addiction to these types of applications is a well-known downside in every society.
This
issue causes
people
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
their
invalueable
Correct your spelling
invaluable
time, regardless, they cannot do beneficial activities, say, doing sports or reading books. The other
down side
Correct your spelling
downside
show examples
is being isolated,
additionally
, mental disorders
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
example, depression. All in all, despite the fact that
this
kind of
media
has its negatives, if the usage of it
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
managed there would be a considerable number of pros. In conclusion,
online
Add an article
an online
the online
show examples
connection is beneficial for
people
and the negative side effects could be prevented.
Submitted by darkred6171 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: