The table below shows the participayion of people over 15 in selected sports and phusical recreation activities by gender in Australia during the period 2011-12.

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The table below gives information on what types of sports activity

man

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men

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and women (aged over 15) engaged in in Australia from 2011 to 2012.

Overall

Linking Words

, the total percentage of

females

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(79,4) who liked to be involved in sports exceeded the total percentage of

males

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(77,6) with a small difference of 1.8%.

Moreover

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, the most popular recreations for both genders were walking for exercise (30.4% of

females

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and almost two times less 16.5% of

males

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) and fitness gym (19.1% of

females

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, 15.1% of

males

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). Swimming and diving were attractive for nearly the same quantity of men and women with a small difference of 0.5% (

females

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8.0%,

males

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7.5%). The average sympathy for people of both sexes was in cycling/BMX (

males

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dominated by 4,4%) and jogging/running (

females

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6.4%,

males

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8.7%). Some types of physical activity were completely avoided by women

such

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as golf (0%), football (0%) and basketball (0%),

while

Linking Words

men didn't pay any attention to netball (0%) and yoga (0%).

Submitted by udmitrienko on Sun Jul 23 2023

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words females, males with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

160 words

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The table below shows the participayion of people over 15 in selected sports and phusical recreation activities by gender in Australia during the period 2011-12.

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a ‘gap year’, before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion.

some countries have introduced a law to limit working hours for employees. Why is this law introduced? Do you think it is positive or negative development?

Schools should stop using books for teaching children as they find them.boring and use films tv and computer instead . to what extent do you agree and disagree?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?