IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarie the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarie the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #summarie #features #comparisons
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Thw
Correct your spelling
The
 line graph illustrates the
breakbown
Correct your spelling
breakdown
 of families'
spandings
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spending
spendings
standings
 per
a
Correct article usage
apply
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week in a particular country in two
separeted ywars
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separate years
, 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graph is that
although
Linking Words
 there are some categories that the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 1968 outweighs that of 2018, namely, food, electricity, wearings and personal items, other sections
such
Linking Words
 as housing, transport and recreational activities present
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 percentage of 2018 in comparison to 1968.
Meanhile
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Meanwhile
, the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 both
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 representing household goods are almost identical.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the most remarkable figures can be seen in the percentage of food, which was 35% in 1968 and about 17% in 2018.
While
Linking Words
 their numbers are insignificant compared to the aforementioned category, there are other sections that experienced
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 decreasing tendency, like clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
as well as
Linking Words
 personal goods, both of whose figure was mostly halved within the half of the century from 10% and 8%, respectively.
Besides
Linking Words
, the proportion of fuel and power went down by approximately 2% to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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4%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it seems that people in 2018
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 likely to invest more
into
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in
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 household, transportation and leisure than those who
was
Change the verb form
were
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 in 1968
according to
Linking Words
 their figure of weekly outcomes.
While
Linking Words
 the percentage for housing increased from 10% to around 19%, leisure's counterpart became more than double to stand
approximately
Change preposition
at approximately
show examples
 22% in the latest data. At the same time, people spent about 14%
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
 transport in 2018 in spite of its number in 1968 which was almost 7%.
Submitted by lisa_smile_2 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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