The top priority of the businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social resposibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#priority #businesses #money #resposibilities

It's agreed that the top priority of the businesses is generating profit, and they don'

need to have social

reposibilities

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

, but some people

agure

Correct your spelling

argue

agree

that.

Therefore

,I will introduce my idea about two problems in

this

essay. On the one hand, many businesses just make

money

and they don'

have to be responsible for society. Indeed, by producing low-quality

goods

and advertising

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

like good products, they can earn more

money

instead

of being

critised

Correct your spelling

criticised

by many consumers ,

this

can provide enough

money

for them to pay for their staff and materials.

Besides

, they don'

have to support

money

for many volunteering campaigns and they can use it for producing many new

goods

or give many

peolpe

Correct your spelling

people

more opportunities to have a job.

On the other hand

, they should be responsible for society. If they don'

do that and produce low-quality

goods

, many customers won'

believe them and don'

pay anything

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

them.

Thus

, they can get

loss

Add an article

a loss

show examples

when selling their new products.

Furthermore

, doing many campaigns serving for

community

Add an article

the community

a community

show examples

can give people

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

impression so there will be more consumers that are loyal to buy

goods

from them. In conclusion, I believe that many companies should not only generate profit but

also

take part in many

meaning

Replace the word

meaningful

show examples

services like helping poor children living in the mountain. By doing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that, they can earn more

money

as well as

they can have strong loyalty from many people.

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Jul 24 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

237 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

financial stability
economic activity
public image
customer loyalty
ethical obligation
environmental degradation
regulatory compliance
legal penalties
investor trust
consumer base
innovation
sustainable practices
profitability
exploit
retain employees
job creation
unemployment rates

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults,compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of the situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
No one can deny that the global young people population are gradually rising compared to older population.Although this can bring some disadvantages, I am more inclined toward its advantages.In this essay ,I will discuss both the negative and the positive aspect .
6
band
Most agree that we should be training children to recycle waste to preserve the Earth’s natural resources. However, some believe that it is parents who should teach their children to recycle waste while others feels schools are more responsible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In recent times, governments of certain countries started promoting the organizations to move to regional areas far from the big cities. This essay will argue that the advantages of this action outweigh the disadvantages. The essay will first demonstrate that less population density and more job opportunities are the major advantages followed by an analysis of how primary disadvantages, namely, difficulties in finding employees and transportation, are not valid.
7
band
Example 6: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
In this modern world, it is true that crimes have risen all over the world. There are many offenders committing crimes once they are released from prison. The cause of this might be a lack of education during imprisonment or an inability to obtain employment, potentially leading to re-offending. However, the problems are solvable, and there is a potential solution to prevent the situation.
7
band
If financially possible, is it always better for young people to leave home and be independent at the age of 18, do you agree or disagree?
The living lifestyle of today’s generation has altered due to the rise of competition in further education after finishing school as they initiate spending their life own or staying with their age groups leaving their parents behind. I believe separation promotes independence, self-reliance as well as personal development and I discuss this in the upcoming paragraphs.
8
band
In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A lot of countries practice the engagement of children in paid work. While some would argue that it is totally inappropriate, others believe that it helps kids obtain some real-life experience. I agree with the latter one because this increases a child's chances of integrating into adult life more smoothly.

The top priority of the businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social resposibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Most agree that we should be training children to recycle waste to preserve the Earth’s natural resources. However, some believe that it is parents who should teach their children to recycle waste while others feels schools are more responsible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Example 6: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

If financially possible, is it always better for young people to leave home and be independent at the age of 18, do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.