The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#two #show #sales #sectors #canada #information #features #comparisons

The given diagram illustrates that in the process of instant

noodles

, there are 8 stages of

this

production.

Overall

, it is observed that

the first step is

collecting the flour from storage silos by a truck, and the procedure finishes with packaging the prepared

noodles

into beautiful wrappers.

Initially

, the method

commence

Change the verb form

commences

show examples

with collecting the flour and

send

Wrong verb form

sending

show examples

it for mixing the water and oil

buy

Correct your spelling

show examples

a mixer.

Moreover

, the machine contains all the ingredients and

prepare

Correct subject-verb agreement

prepares

show examples

a dough sheet with the help of rollers. In the next stage, dough sheets

converted

Add a missing verb

are converted

show examples

into dough strips to make noodle discs and fried in a deep heat cooking oil.

Furthermore

, store

noodles

discs for drying.

In addition

this

, the seventh step is adding vegetables, spices, and

noodles

into the cups.

Finally

, the procedure is ready for labelling and sealing before being delivered to consumers

Submitted by simran31788 on Tue Jul 25 2023

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words noodles with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

143 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As children become adults, their social behaviour changes in some ways. What are the main differences between young children’s social behaviour and that of adults? To what extent are the changes that take place good?

Some people think that parents should give their children complete freedom. Others feel that parents should limit their children’s freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.