IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

The top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities.To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#priority #businesses #money #responsibilities
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
people
Use synonyms
 who are
businesses
Use synonyms
 just want to make
profit
Add an article
a profit
show examples
 and
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 social responsibilities
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 unnecessary. From my point of view,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. In
this
Linking Words
 era, society seems to develop too fast and the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 humans
are
Change the verb form
is
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 increasing. That
why
Add a missing verb
is why
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 earning money is one of the top priorities of humans. Some poor-quality
businesses
Use synonyms
 use tricks to earn money from
people
Use synonyms
 because they want to make a profit quickly and easily.
However
Linking Words
, it will make our
social
Replace the word
society
show examples
unresponsible and many
people
Use synonyms
 will become suspicious . They have to improve their policy and work more responsibly.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, responsibility is very important in
businesses
Use synonyms
. If they are responsible to their customers, they can improve their reputation and the business will be easier. It is momentous that
businesses
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 can be legally responsible if they break the law.
Instead
Linking Words
 of treating customers, they should work responsibly and improve their reputation.
To sum up
Linking Words
, social responsibilities
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 what
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
businesses
Use synonyms
 should do. And the government must legislate for
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
unresponsibilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • profit maximization
  • economic development
  • Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR)
  • shareholders
  • moral obligation
  • reputation
  • customer loyalty
  • sustainable business models
  • accountability
  • ethical practices
  • regulations
  • consumer expectations
  • economic sustainability
  • stakeholders
  • social impact
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