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Band 1

the top priority of businesses is makeing money, and they do not need to have a social responbilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#priority #businesses #money #responbilities
It is evident that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most high-end company is making a large revenue without
undertake
Change the verb form
undertaking
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 any social duties. I partly agree with
this
 statement since it can be affected
to
Change preposition
apply
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our life society. In the first place, the most necessary issue in our life is one group of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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entrepreneur
nearly
Correct pronoun usage
who nearly
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 forget their public
responbilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
. Their enterprise
is depend
Change the verb form
depends
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 on people's lives and how the society
run
Add a missing verb
is run
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. Presently, They make money based on their
greedy
Replace the word
greed
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. They desolate the environment to make
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 profit. No one can know how they earn plenty of
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
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. Their factory emissions a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of harmful gases
such
 as carbon dioxide which is affected directly to our life and
Correct your spelling
damaged
damage
dammaged
Correct your spelling
damage
 to
atmosphere
Add an article
the atmosphere
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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create
Wrong verb form
creating
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greenhouse
Add an article
a greenhouse
the greenhouse
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 effect
By contrast
,
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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