IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many developing countries, poor people do not have access to the internet and computer technology. As a result, they are unable to get many services. Why is this the case? What can the government do to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In certain nations,
underprivileged
Correct article usage
the underprivileged
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 masses do not have provisions for operating the latest technical devices and good connectivity.
Subsequently
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, they do not possess all the amenities relevant to them. In
this
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,
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apply
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 essay
I
Punctuation problem
, I
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would like to shed light on the reasons
along with
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 the possible solutions for the issues.
To begin
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 with, there are a plethora of causes that deprive inhabitants of
facilities
Check wording
access to
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Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
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. To commence with, poor infrastructure in developing nations creates problems like bad connectivity
,
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apply
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while
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 they are operating gadgets.
Besides
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, a few masses cannot afford expensive Wi-Fi or gadgets
,
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;
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consequently
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, they cannot purchase or pay for these connections.
Apart from
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this
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, even to understand coding and fundamental operations in technical equipment, a person should be educated.
For instance
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, individuals
,
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apply
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 who could merely read or write
,
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apply
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 could not understand computer language
,
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;
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 in fact, they would find it arduous to follow instructions as well. Turning towards remedies, in
this
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 era, it is quite essential for dwellers to connect with the world
and
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, and
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 it is possible only if they use social sites, so there is a need for assistance from high authorities.
Initially
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, they ought to invest in the infrastructure of new technology to make its utilisation easier.
For example
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, to improve the speed of the internet, they need to bury wires under the earth`s surface or install required cables and towers in rural areas
especially
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, especially
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.
Moreover
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, the cost of electronic devices like mobile phones, computers, or laptops should be
less
Correct word choice
lower
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, so that everyone
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 buy them.
Furthermore
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, the council ought to provide computer lessons to their citizens at reasonable prices,
therefore
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, they could learn to operate them. In conclusion, these days, accessibility, knowledge and affordability of these amenities are very crucial for the
overall
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 development of countries
,
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;
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however
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, the lack of resources and information, and high prices do not let inhabitants use them.
Thus
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, the bureaucracy has to assist them to learn and
afford
Wrong verb form
affording
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such
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 equipment.

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structure
Make plan clear at the start. State one idea for each part and end with a short line that sums up.
lexical
Use small, clear words. Avoid big or hard words.
example
Give small examples for the ideas you say so the reader can see them.
conclusion
Make the end say why this matters and what should be done.
grammar
Check grammar and make each sentence flow well so the text is easy to read.
coherence
Link ideas well so the writing moves smoothly from one idea to the next.
content
Clear aim to tell why and how to fix.
coherence
There are parts that link ideas with examples such as 'for example'.
coherence
The writer shows plan to fix the problem.
lexical
The want to talk about money and price.
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