The table below shows the change in number of people engaged in various physical activities between the years 2001-2009 in Australia (in million people).

The table below shows the change in number of people engaged in various physical activities between the years 2001-2009 in Australia (in million people).
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given table illustrates the differences in
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
for Australian citizens who took part in various sports namely running, aerobics, tennis, cycling and swimming over a period of 8 years from 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most famous sport in the given period was cycling .
By contrast
Linking Words
, tennis has the lowest
participants
Correct quantifier usage
number of participants
show examples
in the same period.
Also
Linking Words
, the maximum and minimum
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
changes were for running and swimming respectively. Between 2001 and 2009, cycling and swimming have the most popularity among Australian
people
Use synonyms
from 4.5 to 3.6 and from 3.7 to 3.3 in million
people
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
they have a -20% and -10% change. Als, Australian runners had the highest changes at 156%, and they reached 2.2
people
Use synonyms
in million
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
was 0.8 higher than that
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in 2001.
In addition
Linking Words
, there was a gradual increase in the number of nations who took part in aerobics of 1.7 ( 0.2 higher than
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
year ). It is
also
Linking Words
worth noting that tennis saw the least of participants from 1 to 1.2 and
change
Correct article usage
the change
show examples
for them was 15%.
Submitted by smksalati on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: