IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some think that these environmental problems are too big for individuals to be solved. While other think that individual can not solve these environmental problems unless governments make some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#think #individuals #governments #action
Many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 believe that
invironemnt
Correct your spelling
environment
 problems are
Correct article usage
the govermments
show examples
govermments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 responsible ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
However
Add the comma(s)
,However
show examples
 the individual can't solve
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
,
while
 the public firmly thinks that government should do the first step to solve environmental issues, In
this
 essay I will explore more
this
 point of view. As we can see today's planet Ereath has a lot of problems that influence
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
 around it like , population, rise temperatures,forest fires, and Global warming, that's which need
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
huge
efforts
Correct the article-noun agreement
effort
show examples
 from both society , individuals and governments,
furthermore
,There are many roles that can governments play ,instance it should start from put the plans to solve the significant issues like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Global warming because
this
 will have essential effect for the life in Earth ,
Moreover
,it should do it .There are many solutions
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 it should do rules for companies and
Correct your spelling
buildings
buldings
Correct your spelling
buildings
,
also
, it should be stopped the cutting
trees
Change preposition
of trees
show examples
 ,more sales,stop using the industrial
Correct your spelling
energy
energey
Correct your spelling
energy
,they should use sun sources or wind
Correct your spelling
source
sorce
Correct your spelling
sources
, On the other hand government itself can apply
this
 solution in real without
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 are living in the same place ,
people
 can have a role to play
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 do a good impact like they can help
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 less
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 using cars
for example
 ,
although
 stopping cutting trees in green are, that encourage between individual and government complete each others role , could provide
grate
Correct your spelling
great
show examples
 solution to save
this
 planet.
To conclude
, I firmly agree with the fact
that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the big role starts with governments than with
people
 to be more
control
Change preposition
in control
show examples
 and have good results.
Submitted by Ssaraan2017 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: