IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph and chart below give information on the average daily maximum and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius (°C) and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph and chart below give information on the average daily maximum and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius (°C) and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#minutes #information #temperatures #degrees #celsius #°c #rainfall #month #two #australian #cities #report #university #lecturer #summarise #features #comparisons
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The chart illustrates the
tempereture
Correct your spelling
temperature
diference
Correct your spelling
difference
 in each
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days
Change to a singular noun
day
show examples
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 January to December in two Australian cities and
bar
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the bar
show examples
 chart shows the number of
days
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 of
rainfall
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 in each
month
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.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, the
temperature
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 has
reported
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been reported
show examples
 in
celcius
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celsius
degrees
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 and
selected
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the selected
show examples
 places were
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Brisband
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Brisbane
 and
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Canbera
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Canberra
. It is
obvoius
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obvious
 that
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Brisband
Correct your spelling
Brisbane
 was the warmest city throughout the year.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart,in January,
Use synonyms
Brisband
Correct your spelling
Brisbane
 and
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Canbera
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Canberra
 had nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
temperature
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
 both of these cities had huge
descrepancy
Correct your spelling
discrepancy
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
temperature
Use synonyms
 in each
Use synonyms
days
Change to a singular noun
day
show examples
. At
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Brisband
Correct your spelling
Brisbane
,
maximum
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the maximum
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temperature
Use synonyms
 was just below 30 and
minimum
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the minimum
show examples
 was just above 20 in January
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Canbera
Correct your spelling
Canberra
 had the highest value just below Brisbrand and the lowest value
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 10-15.
However
Linking Words
, in
following
Add an article
the following
show examples
month
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
Brisband
Correct your spelling
Brisbane
 had their peak level of
temperature
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 as 30
degrees
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 and 10
degrees
Use synonyms
diference
Correct your spelling
difference
 was the
loweat
Correct your spelling
lowest
 level.
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Canbera
Correct your spelling
Canberra
 had
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 line of maximum and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lowest
temperature
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
month
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Brisband
Correct your spelling
Brisbane
 had the lowest
temperature
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 in July and August and
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was 10 whilst
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Canbera
Correct your spelling
Canberra
 had just above 0 in June and July. In December, both cities were hot because they reached nearly 30
degrees
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 as highest with huge fluctuations in each
months
Change to a singular noun
month
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
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Brisband
Correct your spelling
Brisbane
 had
highest
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the highest
show examples
rainfall
Use synonyms
 in February and March and there was a reduction of rain in June, July and August and it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased when reached in December up to 12
days
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Canbera
Correct your spelling
Canberra
 had 10
days
Use synonyms
 per
month
Use synonyms
 as maximum numbers in June, July and August
while
Linking Words
 other months had
Add an article
the
show examples
nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 number of
days
Use synonyms
 of
rainfall
Use synonyms
. It is very clear that
Use synonyms
Brisband
Correct your spelling
Brisbane
 had more
rainfall
Use synonyms
 than
Use synonyms
Canbera
Correct your spelling
Canberra
 in
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 year
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 each and every
month
Use synonyms
 there were more
days
Use synonyms
 than
Canbera
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by shanikanir86 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words days, rainfall, month, temperature, degrees, brisband, canbera with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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What to do next:
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