IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph and chart below give information on the average daily maximum and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius (°C) and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing Task 1 Answer

The graph and chart below give information on the average daily maximum and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius (°C) and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing Task 1 Answer
#information #temperatures #degrees #celsius #°c #rainfall #month #two #australian #cities #report #university #lecturer #summarise #features #comparisons
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The chart illustrates the
temperature
Use synonyms
 difference in each day from January to December in two Australian cities and the bar chart shows the number of
days
Use synonyms
 of
rainfall
Use synonyms
 in each
month
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, the
otemperature
Correct your spelling
temperature
 has been reported in
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
degrees
Use synonyms
 and the selected places were
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 and
Canberra
Use synonyms
. It is
obvius
Correct your spelling
obvious
 that
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 was the warmest city throughout the year.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart,in January,
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 and
Canberra
Use synonyms
 had nearly the same
temperature
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
 both of these cities had huge
discrepancy
Fix the agreement mistake
discrepancies
show examples
 in
temperature
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each day. At
Brisbane
Use synonyms
, the maximum
temperature
Use synonyms
 was just below 30 and the minimum was just above 20 in January
while
Linking Words
Canberra
Use synonyms
 had the highest value just below Brisbrand and the lowest value between 10-15.
However
Linking Words
, in
thefollowing
Correct your spelling
the following
month
Use synonyms
,
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 had their peak level of
temperature
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 30
degrees
Use synonyms
 and 10
degrees
Use synonyms
 difference was the lowest level.
Canberra
Use synonyms
 had the same line of maximum and lowest
temperature
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
month
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
temperature
Use synonyms
 in July and August and which was 10 whilst
Canberra
Use synonyms
 had just above 0 in June and July. In December, both cities were hot because they reached nearly 30
degrees
Use synonyms
 as highest with huge fluctuations in each
month
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 had the highest
rainfall
Use synonyms
 in February and March and there was a reduction of rain in June, July and August and it increased when reached in December up to 12
days
Use synonyms
.
Canberra
Use synonyms
 had 10
days
Use synonyms
 per
month
Use synonyms
 as maximum numbers in June, July and August
while
Linking Words
 other months had nearly
thesame
Correct your spelling
the same
number of
days
Use synonyms
 of
rainfall
Use synonyms
. It is very clear that
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 had more
rainfall
Use synonyms
 than
Canberra
Use synonyms
 in the whole year
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 each and every
month
Use synonyms
 there were more
days
Use synonyms
 than
Canbera
Correct your spelling
Canberra
.
Submitted by shanikanir86 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, days, rainfall, month, degrees, brisbane, canberra with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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