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Writing Samples
Band 4

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort o f punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

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I agree that it is important for
children
Use synonyms
 to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age.
As
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In
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 my experience, if
chidren
Correct your spelling
children
 didn’t know what kind of
behave
Replace the word
behaviour
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 were right or wrong, it may lead to a tragedy.
Like
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For
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 my nephew, my auntie
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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really over spoiled
him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
Linking Words
for
Capitalize word
For
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 example, one day my nephew broke his classmate’s bottles, he don’t even
said
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say
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 sorry to his classmate and he just cried and said that wasn’t his fault,
after
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apply
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that when the school teacher call my auntie, my auntie just help him with no
punishment
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 and distinction and said sorry to his classmate and said that she will pay for his mistake. When my nephew has grown up, he made
the
Correct article usage
a
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 similar mistake, he won’t realize that it was his fault and make an
apologize
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apology
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. Based on
this
Linking Words
 story, I think
the
Correct article usage
apply
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punishment
Use synonyms
 is necessary to help
children
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 who get in trouble to learn the distinction.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I think physical
punishment
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 is permit
to
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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parents to teach good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 to
children
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, but it’s not a way to
teacher
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teach
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. I think the best way for both parents and teacher were the
punishment
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 of restricting
children
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to
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from
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 using their mobile phone or other 3C appliances
,
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apply
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 because my little brother will listen to my mother’s word
,
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apply
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 if my mother says that she might take away his mobile phone when my little brother do the wrong things. In conclusion,
children
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 learn right and wrong
in
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at
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 an early age is really important, and sometimes
punishment
Use synonyms
 is necessary to help them know it properly.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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