It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort o f punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I agree that it is important for
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age.
As
Change preposition
In

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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my experience, if
chidren
Correct your spelling
children

If you don’t want chidren to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

didn’t know what kind of
behave
Replace the word
behaviour

The word behave doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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were right or wrong, it may lead to a tragedy.
Like
Change preposition
For

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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my nephew, my auntie
was
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb was appears to be unnecessary here.

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really over spoiled
him
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

for
Capitalize word
For

The word for should be capitalized in this context.

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example, one day my nephew broke his classmate’s bottles, he don’t even
said
Change the verb form
say

It appears that the verb said is incorrectly used with the helping verb do. Consider changing it to the base form.

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sorry to his classmate and he just cried and said that wasn’t his fault,
after
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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that when the school teacher call my auntie, my auntie just help him with no
punishment
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and distinction and said sorry to his classmate and said that she will pay for his mistake. When my nephew has grown up, he made
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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similar mistake, he won’t realize that it was his fault and make an
apologize
Replace the word
apology

The word apologize doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. Based on
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

story, I think
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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punishment
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is necessary to help
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who get in trouble to learn the distinction.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I think physical
punishment
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is permit
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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parents to teach good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour

The spelling of behavior is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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to
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, but it’s not a way to
teacher
Replace the word
teach

The word teacher doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. I think the best way for both parents and teacher were the
punishment
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of restricting
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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using their mobile phone or other 3C appliances
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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because my little brother will listen to my mother’s word
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker if. Consider removing the comma.

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if my mother says that she might take away his mobile phone when my little brother do the wrong things. In conclusion,
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

learn right and wrong
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
an early age is really important, and sometimes
punishment
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is necessary to help them know it properly.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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