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Band 6.5

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
These bar graphs depict
different
Add an article
the different
show examples
ratio
Fix the agreement mistake
ratios
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 of individuals
were
Correct pronoun usage
who were
show examples
 born in
Australia
 and who were born out of it in urban, rural and
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
 from 1995 to 2010. It is clear from the graph that most
people
 in all data live in
cities
 between 50 to 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
According to
 what is shown in 1995,
people
 who their date of birth in
Australia
 20% of them live in
towns
 and 30% in rural areas in other meaning
Correct article usage
the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
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, and the rest of them which represent 50%
life
Replace the word
live
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 in
cities
.
In
Change preposition
On
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other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand,
people
 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 outside
Australia
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
depict
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
approximately similar data, but the
differeces
Correct your spelling
differences
difference
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
towns
 decreased by 10% which became 10% and
Correct article usage
the
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
 increased by 10% which became
fourty
Correct your spelling
forty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, eventually the
cities
 increased by 10% to 60% respectively. In 2010,
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
 born in the previous continent 65%
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
 in
cities
 and
same
Add an article
the same
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 percentage
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lives in
towns
 or rural areas
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
caculated
Correct your spelling
calculated
 by 17.5%, in terms of other
people
 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
out
Change preposition
outside
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 of the continent e80% of them live in
cities
 and 15% in
towns
 eventually 5% who live in
rurual
Correct your spelling
rural
 areas.
To sum up
, we could say.
people
 who came out from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia
 prefer to live in
cities
, the rest of
data
Correct article usage
the data
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shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 tiny numbers.
Submitted by d76273619 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, people, cities, towns with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "depict" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
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