The line graph below illustrates the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton over a period of 30 years between 1980 and 2010.

#line #percentage #tourists #england #four #attractions #brighton #period #years

The line graph below illustrates the

percentage

of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton over a period of 30 years between 1980 and 2010.

Overall

,during the period 1980 and 2010 the favourite attractions for tourists were the art gallery and Pavilion,the least popular place was

pier

Correct article usage

the pier

show examples

. As is presented in the graph,the

percentage

of visitors to

Pavilion

Correct article usage

the Pavilion

show examples

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

gradually increased between 1985 and 1995,from 28% to 51%.

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

then

it decreased significantly,to about 37% in 2000 and

then

to 31% in 2010.Only 10% of tourists visited

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

Pier in 1980,

then

this

persentage

Correct your spelling

percentage

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

alightly

Correct your spelling

slightly

a lightly

lightly

fluctuated and increased to 28% in 2010. The most popular attraction in 1980 was

festival

Correct article usage

the festival

show examples

,almost 31% of these attended

this

attraction,

Correct word choice

and by

show examples

2010

this

percentage

was decreased to 25%. The highest

percentage

of visitors in 1985

shown

Add a missing verb

was shown

show examples

in the Art gallery.There was a significant rise from 21% to 32%. It is

noticible

Correct your spelling

noticeable

that the least popular attraction was Pier all over the period than the other attractions.

Submitted by dnm.best on Fri Jul 28 2023

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

163 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The line graph below illustrates the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton over a period of 30 years between 1980 and 2010.

Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both views and give opinion

Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

in some countries , students live with their family while studying at a university . In other countries , students attend university in another city . Do you think the advantages of living away from family home while attending outweigh the disadvantages ?

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed.

Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this, the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience