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Band 3

A local man has been given a three-month jail sentence for repeatedly shoplifting in the New-bury area.

#man #jail #sentence #new-bury #area
A civil
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
name
Wrong verb form
named
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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Gary
Dibbot
,28
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 old has been given a three-month prison sentence for again and again make shoplifting in the New-bury area.The evidence which is given in
law
Correct article usage
the law
show examples
 court show that,Gary
Dibbot
 paid a fine six months ago for
previous
Add an article
a previous
show examples
 conviction,
admitted
Correct word choice
and admitted
show examples
stealing
Change preposition
to stealing
show examples
 DVDs from Renta Video in Fenbury. First and foremost a citizen Gary one day when he was in Fenbury,he
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
 a
crime
,
this
crime
 was shoplifting.
Dibbot
 took some DVDs from Renta Video without permission.
However
 he did not think about cameras and the police caught him,but he paid
amount
Correct article usage
an amount
show examples
 of fine for
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
.
Dibbot
's lawyer said that his client regretted his actions and that he would turn over a new leaf after serving his sentence.All of these cases happened six months ago.
On the other hand
,Mr.
Dibbot
 one day
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 a decision to theft repeatedly.
Neverthless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
,
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 time,the police caught him again and he have to go the trial
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
when
day
Add an article
the day
show examples
 of
verdict
Correct article usage
the verdict
show examples
 comes,
Dibbot
's lawyer tried to defend him.
However
, the suspension committee decided to prosecute him because the arguments showed that he stole again despite paying a fine for stealing DVDs 6 months ago.The judge suggested a 3-month jail sentence and
lawyer
Correct article usage
the lawyer
show examples
 and
him
Correct pronoun usage
his
show examples
 client agreed. In sum
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
In my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 everyone
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 something,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it is not the reason of commit a
crime
 if you need something and you
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not enough money
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 purchase it,
then
 people have to find the
mehtod
Correct your spelling
method
 about how can they buy it.
Submitted by Ayan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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