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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The question of whether the best way to use our leisure
time
Use synonyms
 has been a topic of interest.
One
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 school of thought holds that it is crucial to improve the mind
while
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 resting by means of reading and solving puzzles. Others argue that true resting is incredibly vital.
This
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 essay will shed light on both perspectives before ultimately concluding that the latter is more significant. On
one
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 hand, it is understandable why many people subscribe to the notion that free
time
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 should be spent on intellectual
activities
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. Advocates may argue that
this
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 would do wonders for personal growth. It is often said that a successful person is
one
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 who knows how to use their
time
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 wisely.
Therefore
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,
instead
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 of wasting
time
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 playing video games or scrolling on social media, reading books and doing puzzles would do wonders for
one
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's enhancement.
There
Correct pronoun usage
It
show examples
 is undeniable that these kinds of
activities
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 could improve language proficiency and other useful skills,
such
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 as problem-solving skills and critical thinking.
On the other hand
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, there is a host of compelling reasons why I firmly believe that spare
time
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 should be used for resting.
One
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 key rationale is that it would help the brain
functions
Correct subject-verb agreement
function
show examples
 better after working for long hours.
This
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 is because reading or solving puzzles is surprisingly complex and requires a level of concentration which can be difficult to maintain after a long working or studying session.
As a result
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, if people sacrifice their square
time
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 to the aforementioned
activities
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, it would be counterproductive. It is worth noting that humans can still make progress
while
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 sleeping thanks to the memory consolidation process.
Hence
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, spending
time
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 resting properly is not lost
time
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. In conclusion,
while
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 it is irrefutable that having fun intellectual
activities
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 to do in spare
time
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 sounds like a good idea, I would contend that a fulfilled resting is of paramount importance to the brain. For the future, my recommendation is that the vital role of good resting should be placed heavy emphasis on.

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Task Achievement
The essay adequately addresses the task but lacks in-depth analysis and development of ideas. Try to provide more specific examples and delve deeper into the arguments presented.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure is evident, but there is room for improvement in the development and organization of ideas. Include more cohesive devices and ensure a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary and language choice show some variety and sophistication. To further enhance lexical resource, aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to add depth to the essay.
Grammatical Range
There is a good attempt at using a range of grammatical structures. However, errors in sentence structures and tense consistency are noticeable. Review and refine sentence structure and ensure consistent use of tenses.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • mental stagnation
  • intellectually stimulating
  • relaxation
  • meditation
  • stress reduction
  • overall well-being
  • personal development
  • life satisfaction
  • sense of achievement
  • emotional balance
  • peace of mind
  • scientific evidence
  • memory
  • learning
  • creativity
  • emotional regulation
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