IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people think that women should not be allowed to work in the police force

#people #women #work #police #force
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it is argued that there are people who believe
women
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 can not be permitted to be employed in
police
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stationspolice
Correct your spelling
stations police
station police
 stations.
According to
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 my opinion, I disagree totally with that statement and will show the reasons why. It is vital to understand that
women
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 are more careful and have better reasoning
skills
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 if they join law enforcement.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
show examples
 the
police
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 force has policies with premium
skills
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 so
women
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 can learn about their
skills
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 in
a
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apply
show examples
training.
Therefore
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, the premium
skills
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 that they learned can be used to look like a protected skill so females can protect themself. The United State is a prime example, America is a nation of freedom so it is not difficult to see that nearly forty per cent of policies is female. Another point of consideration is that many ladies are born with a talent for strength that makes them hard to defeat, if they have a righteous spirit, joining the
police
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 team will be absolute.
For instance
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, there are many cases where female
police
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 officers with physical abilities and natural aptitude have made great achievements in catching high-risk criminals without being injured. Taking every into account,
women
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 are
also
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 human beings, they have the right to freely choose a career that suits them
according to
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 the provisions of the law.
Hence
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,
this
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 essay makes the point to say that
women
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also
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 have the right to work in the
police
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 department.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inherent equality
  • law enforcement
  • empathy
  • gender-based violence
  • community relations
  • diversity
  • team performance
  • systemic gender bias
  • physical requirements
  • culture of masculinity
What to do next:
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