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Writing Samples
Band 4

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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Data for
underground
Correct article usage
the underground
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 railway system for 6 cities
has
Change the verb form
have
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 been tabulated in the given table.
Overall
Linking Words
, Tokyo receives the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
Use synonyms
passengers
Correct quantifier usage
number of passengers
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 per year which is 1927
million
Use synonyms
 and the least is in Kyoto which is 45
million
Use synonyms
. The first underground railway was established in London in 1863 which covered a
distance
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 of 394km,
this
Linking Words
 is the longest journey amongst all the cities mentioned in the table. Following London
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 was Paris, where the metro was installed in
the
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apply
show examples
1900 covering an
overall
Linking Words
distance
Use synonyms
 of 199km and recording the second
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
Use synonyms
passengers
Correct quantifier usage
number of passengers
show examples
 which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 1191
million
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 after Tokyo whose tram was opened to
public
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the public
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 in 1927. Washington DC introduced its train in 1976 which covered a length of 126km and received 144
million
Use synonyms
passengers
Use synonyms
 every
365-days
Correct your spelling
365 days
. Kyoto established its underground rail transport system in 1981 which covers 11km, which is the least
distance
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 amongst all the cities mentioned.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it receives the least number of
passengers
Use synonyms
 per year
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is 45
million
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the latest rail system introduced was in 2001, which covered a
distance
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 of 28km receiving 50
million
Use synonyms
passengers
Use synonyms
 yearly.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words passengers, million, distance, km with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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