You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter give details of your study plans explain why you want to get a part-time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job

#minutes #country #study #job #friend #lives #help #plans

Dear John Hope

this

letter finds you in radiant health and best of spirits. I am writing

this

letter to let you know that I am coming to your homeland, Australia, to pursue my higher studies. I know that you must be delighted to

know

Verb problem

hear

show examples

this

news. I have

got

Verb problem

been

show examples

admission

Replace the word

admitted

show examples

into Monash University and my session is starting in January 2021. I have chosen tourism subject as you know I am a wanderlust person. Though the course is quite expensive

yet

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I am hopeful that I

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

get ample opportunities after the completion of the course. To assist in covering the cost of study, I am aiming to do a part-time job. I know that you have a wide social circle since you

are

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

living in Melbourne for the past 12 years. I was wondering if you could ask your friends or work colleagues to see if anyone wants a house cleaner, cook, or nanny for their children. I am willing to do any part-time job. I know I am bothering you but I do not anyone in Australia apart from you. I would be grateful if you could help me with

this

. I look forward to seeing you soon. Take care and stay fine. Thank you Anmol Malik

Submitted by mangathm on Sun Jul 30 2023

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task response

Provide more specific details about the study plans and reasons for choosing a part-time job. This will make the response more complete and relevant to the task.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and is connected logically to the following paragraph. Add more linking words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.

lexical resource

Expand the range of vocabulary used and consider using more varied and precise language to convey meaning effectively.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and use a variety of grammatical structures to accurately convey meaning. Check for subject-verb agreement and use of verb tenses.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

210 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

In some countries schoolchilren wear a uniform.In others, they can wear whatever they want at school. what are advetages and disadvantages of having school uniforms?

Most countries spend large amount of money on weapons to defend themselves though they are not at war. Some believe those countries should spend the money to help poor countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There are many people who go to live in different countries. To what extent should people be allowed to move freely between countries and live where they choose? What are the benefits and drawbacks of this?

The growth in crime among teenagers can be attributed to an increase in the use of violent video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays shop have extended opening hours almost everyday of the week in many countries. Is it a positive or negative development for shoppers and local communities?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+