The diagram shows how rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram shows how rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The flow chart illustrates how
water
from rain is turned into drinking
water
in Australia.
Overall
, there are 3 primary stages in order to provide drinkable
water
for Australians, starting with collecting rainwater, and ending with pumping processed
water
to households.
Firstly
, draining systems, which are connected to underground pipes, are attached rooftops of buildings. After that, when rains happen, the rainwater is collected by those systems and flows into the underground pipes.
Subsequently
, the
water
in those pipes goes through a multi-layer
water
filter in order to remove all the visible contaminants. After being filtered, it is transferred into storage, and
then
it is poured into chambers at factories, where chemicals
such
as chlorine, and similar things are filled to dispose of the unedible chemicals and heavy metals dissolve in
water
such
as mercury, lead, acid, and similar substances.
Finally
, clean
water
is pumped to buildings as drinking
water
.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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