IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram explains the process for the making of chocolate. There are a total of ten stages in the process, beginning with the growing of the pods on the cacao trees and culminating in the production of the chocolate.

The diagram explains the process for the making of chocolate. There are a total of ten stages in the process, beginning with the growing of the pods on the cacao trees and culminating in the production of the chocolate.
#process #chocolate #ten #stages #pods #cacao #trees #production
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given diagram demonstrates the process of
chocolate
Use synonyms
 production.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there are 3 main steps, beginning with the
cacao
Use synonyms
 separation, the next is transporting
cacao
Use synonyms
 beans and the final step is producing
chocolate
Use synonyms
. Beginning with the first stage,
cacao
Use synonyms
 nuts are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
harvested from
cacao
Use synonyms
 trees, which are preparing for
cacao
Use synonyms
 bean separation. After separation, they are fermented before
spread
Wrong verb form
spreading
show examples
 in the sun to dry.
Then
Linking Words
 the dry
cacao
Use synonyms
 beans are packaged in large sacks and delivered to the
chocolate
Use synonyms
 factory by trucks. After being transported to the factory, these beans will be roasted in a high-temperature atmosphere, about 350 degrees. After being roasted, they are crushed into small pieces to separate from the shells.
Finally
Linking Words
, the small pieces are pressed and smashed into liquid and
then
Linking Words
 liquid
chocolate
Use synonyms
 as the main product is completely produced.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words chocolate, cacao with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: