Some people believe (1) that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school. (2) Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People hold different views about whether to continue studying or start earning money right after high school is the key
of
Change preposition
to
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success. Personally judging, I believe that both have merits depending on each type of
job
.
Further
study, especially after
students
take a gap year,
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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perhaps
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
them to some extent. The most common motive of
this
course is indeed the qualification being accepted by several domestic and international corporations, whereby making you become more competitive than any other candidates in an interview. Another deciding point is that when studying at
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
or college for more than two years,
students
can get themselves involved in numerous large-scale projects conducted by companies connecting with their campuses, signifying that they can strenuously master any essential skills without getting a
job
after high school and worrying about
financial
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the financial
a financial
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shortage. Beginning to earn money, specifically after finishing high
school’s
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school
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years, is probably a breakthrough for
students
having occupations relating to trades or commercials. In these fields, not academic diplomas but real-life experience determines how successful and welfare they are,
not to mention
the relationship with powerful figures they make when making businesses.
According to
recent studies, the escalating rate of unemployed economic postgraduates mainly comes from their lack of social circle and first-hand experience.
Additionally
, these independent
students
solely become wealthy once they cope well with stress, mostly
comes
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
from their peers or bosses and small budgets, which are barriers that
makes
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make
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a truly successful individual so far. In short, opting for having a straight
job
or higher study after high school relies on which type of jobs
students
get afterwards.
While
owning an academic certificate may boost the chance of getting
later
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a later
the later
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job
, starting earning money can afford
students
a great deal of experience and social relationships.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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