Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs, and other leisure activities. How harmful are these for children? Discuss possible solutions.

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There is no denying the fact that
violence
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violent
show examples
contact is dengorace. In my
opinoin
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opinion
, I consider that
perants
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parents
should care
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
kids and help them to
reduse
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reduce
the
Change the word
their
show examples
attintion toward
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
games
Use synonyms
.
Tobegin
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To begin
with, violent
programes
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programmes
programs
and
games
Use synonyms
have
bad
Add an article
a bad
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effect on young age people and
this
Linking Words
made the
majorite
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majority
show examples
of parents
angery
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angry
about
this
Linking Words
. In other word,
toddlres
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toddlers
toddler
who spend almost
thier
Correct your spelling
their
half
day
Correct article usage
a day
show examples
on harmful activities
such
Linking Words
as war
games
Use synonyms
grabs
Change the verb form
grab
show examples
this
Linking Words
and
imiti
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imitate
it in
thier
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their
the
actual world.
In addition
Linking Words
, parents and adult siblings should invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
time as a family and fill it with outside activities like going for hikes, playing actual
games
Use synonyms
, and
apply
Wrong verb form
applying
show examples
for courses.
For example
Linking Words
, new
articals encourge
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articles encourage
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
to build strong relationships with their
childern
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children
and limit
them
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their
show examples
time on TV and
games
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, to
avoied
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avoid
aggressive
behiverus
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behaves
careing
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caring
and
giveing
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giving
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strong action are
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
solutions.
Submitted by rayan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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