The chart shows the changes of percentage of people born inside and outside of Australia live in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.
In the
graph
we can see that in 1995 more Add a comma
,graph
people
lived in cities
who were born outside Australia
than those who born
in Add a missing verb
were born
Australia
. This
is also
true in 2010. In 1995 less
Change the quantifier
fewer
people
lived in towns who were born outside Australia
than those who were born in Australia
. The graph shows that rural areas
were more popular in 1995 than in 2010 and more people
lived
in Correct pronoun usage
who lived
this
Change the determiner
this area
these areas
areas
who were born outside Australia
than those who were born in Australia
. In 2010 there were big differences. As I mentioned before, there were a few percentage
of Change to a plural noun
percentages
people
who lived in rural areas
and in towns. The most popular areas
were the cities
. People
are mostly lived in cities
indipend
of were born in Correct your spelling
depend
Australia
or outside of Australia
. In my opinion, cities
were the most popular because they are more developed and there are better hospitalites
and maybe the infrastructure is Correct your spelling
hospitals
also
better.Submitted by bazin.vanda.mail on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, cities, australia, areas with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼