The chart shows the changes of percentage of people born inside and outside of Australia live in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.

#changes #percentage #people #australia #town

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In the

graph

Add a comma

,graph

show examples

we can see that in 1995 more

people

Use synonyms

lived in

cities

Use synonyms

who were born outside

Australia

Use synonyms

than those who

born

Add a missing verb

were born

show examples

Australia

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

true in 2010. In 1995

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

people

Use synonyms

lived in towns who were born outside

Australia

Use synonyms

than those who were born in

Australia

Use synonyms

. The graph shows that rural

areas

Use synonyms

were more popular in 1995 than in 2010 and more

people

Use synonyms

lived

Correct pronoun usage

who lived

show examples

Linking Words

this

Change the determiner

this area

these areas

show examples

areas

Use synonyms

who were born outside

Australia

Use synonyms

than those who were born in

Australia

Use synonyms

. In 2010 there were big differences. As I mentioned before, there were a few

percentage

Change to a plural noun

percentages

show examples

people

Use synonyms

who lived in rural

areas

Use synonyms

and in towns. The most popular

areas

Use synonyms

were the

cities

Use synonyms

People

Use synonyms

are mostly lived in

cities

Use synonyms

indipend

Correct your spelling

depend

of were born in

Australia

Use synonyms

or outside of

Australia

Use synonyms

. In my opinion,

cities

Use synonyms

were the most popular because they are more developed and there are better

hospitalites

Correct your spelling

hospitals

and maybe the infrastructure is

also

Linking Words

better.

Submitted by bazin.vanda.mail on Mon Jul 31 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

▼

Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

▼

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words people, cities, australia, areas with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

156 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Despite better access to education, many adults today still cannot read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?
Do you think the education can effect the world in a different way? Aducation is one of the most important things in the human lifes nowadays , And in this generation they see the education is on of the reasons to live .
6
band
In some countries, some people are renting accomodation, while other are buying their own homes. Does renting accomodation have more advantages or more disadvantages than buying a place?
There is an ongoing debate regarding the choice of accommodation. While some people prefer to live in rental units, others argue that they should have their own houses. While acknowledging the merits of rental properties, this essay argues that owning a house has more benefits than the other choice. This essay will demonstrate the significant benefits and the potential drawbacks of renting and my opinion in detail with relevant examples.
6
band
Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
In recent years, the debate about how to allocate money and other resources to the mode of transportation has become one of the most controversial issues today, and some governors and officials have expressed the opinion that it is better to focus on railways than roads. Additionally, for convenience and hazard prevention, I fully agree with the statement.
7
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
For the past few decades, we have seen a major shift toward technology, innovations, and explorations. However, many students are not choosing science as a subject in various countries. Additionally, science is the only subject that provides a fundamental understanding of innovation.
4.5
band
Many people say that globalisation and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environmental. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The world is struggling to increase economy.Most of proponents believe that increasing number of mutinational industries and globalisation is harmful for the environment.I strongly advocate with this statement that internationalization reversly effects the environment and putting heavy strain on developing countries.The following paragraphes will discuss this notion.

The chart shows the changes of percentage of people born inside and outside of Australia live in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.

Despite better access to education, many adults today still cannot read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?

In some countries, some people are renting accomodation, while other are buying their own homes. Does renting accomodation have more advantages or more disadvantages than buying a place?

Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Many people say that globalisation and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environmental. To what extent do you agree or disagree?