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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Pie charts shows the electricity production by fuel in France and Australia in 1980 and 2000.

Pie charts shows the electricity production by fuel in France and Australia in 1980 and 2000.
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Generation
Correct article usage
The generation
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 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 by fuel in France and Australia
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 illustrated in the given pie charts for the years 1980 and 2000. Over a period of 20 years in Australia, the production of
electricity
Use synonyms
 by coal has increased
more
Change preposition
by more
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 than 50 per cent.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
use
Use synonyms
 of Hydro
Power
Use synonyms
 has slightly gone up but a drastic decline in the
use
Use synonyms
 of Natural Gas and Oil has been recorded for the making of
electricity
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in
France
Add a comma
,France
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 a massive increase in Nuclear
Power
Use synonyms
 has been observed over two decades which has surpassed the
use
Use synonyms
 of other fuels.
In addition
Linking Words
 to the
use
Use synonyms
 of Nuclear
Power
Use synonyms
, a rise of 5 units in oil has been shown
while
Linking Words
 the consumption of coal for
eletricity
Correct your spelling
electricity
 batching has remained constant. Both, Hydro
Power
Use synonyms
 and Natural Gas have seen a downward trend from 1980 to 2000. In conclusion, France uses more
of
Change preposition
apply
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Nuclear
power
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 all the other natural fuels,
whereas
Linking Words
 Australia only uses renewable energy resources for
electricity
Use synonyms
 production.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, use, power with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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