You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter, explain why you would like the job give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #child #parents #job #person #time #australia

Dear parents, I am Harshveer Mangat from Canada, writing to you in response to an advertisement that I saw a few days ago in a magazine. I have experience of working in a school and I would like to have a part-time job when I move to Australia. Your house is a walking distance (3 km) from Melbourne University, from where I will pursue my Masters's degree

this

coming January. I am very interested to look after your child with my best care and attention. I worked as a nanny too a couple of years ago.

Furthermore

, I am the eldest child of my family and have looked after my brother and sister as well. Children are a gift from god and I love being around them.

Besides

this

, I have excelled in academics, and being fluent in English would help me to communicate with your children. I consider myself a deserving candidate for the job to look after your baby. After I move to Australia

this

coming January, I will be busy with my university studies and spend time with your child for the specified time which is around six months.

In addition

this

, I keep with myself a diary in which I write about my lifetime experiences and

this

memory will be a great add-on to it. I am hoping to hear a word from you as I am a deserving candidate for

this

job. Yours sincerely Harshveer

Submitted by mangathm on Wed Aug 02 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

241 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Childcare, Nurturing, Patience, Creativity, Early childhood development
Babysitting, Au pair, Engaging, Responsible, Enthusiastic
Safety, Trustworthy, Adaptability, Proactive, Cultural exchange
Activities, Educational games, Language skills, Exploring
Volunteering, Community involvement, Australian culture
Flexibility, Personal traits, Schedule, Enrichment

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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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