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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people feel that governments should take a large portion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #portion #salaries #services #roads #schools #taxes
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A large part of the population holds the view that the government should invest a large portion of people's earnings in public services, but others might not agree with
this
 view. I will be discussing both views and state my opinion on
this
 matter. On the one hand, a large number of people, including me, consider that high customs is an awful idea.
Firstly
, high taxes hurt the poor.
As a result
 of
this
, individuals do not have enough money to spend on basic needs
such
 as food or clothing.
Secondly
, the citizens living in corrupt countries might not trust the government with their money. I think the governments should cut the
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 in certain areas and use them to pay for necessary public services.
For instance
, the US spends about 750 billion dollars on the military, which is fifty times more than any other country in the world. The money spent on
military
Add an article
the military
show examples
 could be
instead
 spent on the population.
On the other hand
, high taxes allow the country to build
higher quality
Add a hyphen
higher-quality
show examples
 roads and schools. Undoubtedly, proper roads and education
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 an important role to play in our lives.
Furthermore
, tariffs allow education to be free of charge, which allows the less well-off
acquire
Fix the infinitive
to acquire
show examples
 a basic education and get employed.
For example
, Norway offers these public services to the population.
Hence
, the poverty rate has declined. In conclusion,
although
 high taxes do provide lots of benefits to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, I think the government should
instead
 reallocate their expenses on more important things,
such
 as roads, schools and helping the poor.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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