The line chart shows the proportion of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton between 1980 and 2010.

The line chart shows the proportion of tourists to England who visited four different

attractions

Use synonyms

in Brighton between 1980 and 2010. There are two main general trends: downward and upward. The Festival attraction was a steady fall over the years with 30%.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, Art Gallery and Pavilion

were wildly fluctuated

Change to the active voice

wildly fluctuated

fluctuated

show examples

all

Change preposition

throughout all

show examples

period

Fix the agreement mistake

periods

show examples

and

also

Linking Words

they had a highest,

lowest

Correct word choice

and lowest

show examples

point

Fix the agreement mistake

points

show examples

Peak

Add an article

The peak

show examples

of the visited

attractions

Use synonyms

is Pavilion with 50%.

Then

Linking Words

, the

record low

Add a hyphen

record-low

show examples

percentage is 8%.

Linking Words

This

Correct determiner usage

These

show examples

three

attractions

Use synonyms

commenced to between 20% and 30%.

By contrast

Linking Words

, The Pier started from 10% and rose gradually to 23%.

In addition

Linking Words

, there were visited

attractions

Use synonyms

with the same results. In 1985, the proportion of visitors to

Art

Correct article usage

the Art

show examples

Gallery and Festival was 25%.

Moreover

Linking Words

, Art Gallery and Pier met in the 2005 year with 15%.

dnm.best

Aug 2, 2023

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words attractions with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

132 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

proportion
tourists
attractions
trends
popularity
seasonal variations
attendance figures
locality
predicting
data analysis
fluctuations
peak season
decline
increment
steady
plummet
surge
stagnate
benchmark
correlate

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The line chart shows the proportion of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton between 1980 and 2010.

With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspaper will soon become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that because everyone needs a place to live, governments should provide houses for those who are too poor to afford their own. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Caring of children is believed to be an essential job in any society, because every human should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents to some extent. I agree with this opinion