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Band 4.5

The chart below gave information about the people use public library and the main reasons to visit in Britain in 1991 in 2000.

The chart below gave information about the people use public library and the main reasons to visit in Britain in 1991 in 2000.
#information #people #library #visit #britain
The pie charts
presenting
Wrong verb form
present
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 the percentages of
people
 who came to
community
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the community
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 library and some main reasons why they visited in Britain in 1991 and 2000.
Overall
, in both these two years,
people
 mostly came to public
libraries
 to borrow or return
book
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books
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.
On the other hand
, the percentage of
people
 who studied and read
newspaper
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newspapers
show examples
 or
magazine
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magazines
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 in 1991 and 2000
are
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is
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 the least. In 1991, it can be observed that more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half of
percentages
Correct article usage
the percentages
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 of
people
 borrow or return books in public
libraries
, around 65%. What’s more, 15% of visitors to those
libraries
 just for reading newspapers or magazines. It can be
argured
Correct your spelling
argued
 that there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
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10% of
people
 studied and obtained information in Public
libraries
. Looking
to
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at
show examples
 the remaining figures
of
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for
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 the year 2000, there was 55%
people
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of people
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 who borrowed or returned books
in
Change preposition
to
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libraries
. 20% of visitors obtained information and 15% of them came to
libraries
 to borrow or return videos. On the one hand, there was a small number of
people
came
Correct pronoun usage
who came
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 to
libraries
 to read newspapers or
magazine
Fix the agreement mistake
magazines
show examples
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 5% and only 2% studied.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, libraries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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