Some people believe that studying at unversity or college is the best route to a successful career while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both view and give your opinion

#people #unversity #college #route #career #job #school

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It is often said that going to a place of

further

Linking Words

education is the best way to have a successful career,

whereas

Linking Words

others think that it is preferable to go

Use synonyms

work

Change preposition

to work

show examples

immediately afterwards going educational institution. It is the opinion of

this

Linking Words

writer that the former choice is the best opinion.

To begin

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with, in my opinion studying at

university

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or college is the best way

lead

Fix the infinitive

to lead

show examples

us to a successful career. Many

people

Use synonyms

think it is easier for most

people

Use synonyms

to find a

job

Use synonyms

if they are

university

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graduate

Fix the agreement mistake

graduates

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with a good degree.

In other words

Linking Words

get

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

qualifications puts

people

Use synonyms

one step ahead of others who do not and

this

Linking Words

can be the deciding factor in getting a

job

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even

receive

Wrong verb form

receiving

show examples

lucky opportunities in social intercourse.

Get

Wrong verb form

Getting

show examples

in to

Join the words

into

show examples

university

Use synonyms

and the increasing number of graduates show just how significant

this

Linking Words

level of education is for

people

Use synonyms

's future

work

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opportunities.

Therefore

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this

Linking Words

may bring out a good chance of getting promoted to higher positions

such

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as managers or executives.

On the other hand

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, after leaving school suddenly look for a new

job

Use synonyms

which

Correct word choice

and

show examples

don't

Change the verb form

doesn't

show examples

choose

study

Fix the infinitive

to study

show examples

college or

university

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. If you are not well prepared for

such

Linking Words

possible obstacles, you can suffer from untended consequences.

Work

Use synonyms

after school maybe you will become self-sufficient

earn

Correct word choice

and earn

show examples

money without any help

your

Change preposition

from your

show examples

parents. Maybe in social life, they get into

troubles

Fix the agreement mistake

trouble

show examples

with their

work

Use synonyms

or colleague,

they

Correct word choice

and they

show examples

will disdain

before

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the public because they are

undergraduate

Fix the agreement mistake

undergraduates

show examples

For example

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today

Change noun form

today's

show examples

job

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market is more competitive and a Bachelor’s degree or Master’s degree in your

job

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enquiry can be a huge advantage compared to other applicants. Employers would prefer a person who has an adequate amount of knowledge to

work

Use synonyms

efficiently with less training time. In conclusion, getting a good

job

Use synonyms

requires a relevant background either in experience or education depending on the type of

work

Use synonyms

and field. It seems to me that students with higher academic

background

Fix the agreement mistake

backgrounds

show examples

are likely to be more successful in pursuing their dream jobs.

Submitted by [email protected] on Wed Aug 02 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

335 words

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Some people believe that studying at unversity or college is the best route to a successful career while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both view and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what exten do you argee or disagree?

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that we should invest more money in classroom technology and equipment. Others argue that we should spend this money on teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.