When choosing a job, salary should be the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
People have different views on whether income should be the most important for a job or not.
While
money is necessary for a person, I do believe that it is vital to take other aspects into consideration.
On the one hand, it is a necessity to focus on the salaries we earn and allocate them in an appropriate way. Linking Words
To begin
with, we need a large amount of money to pay for our living costs including education, healthcare, food consumption and transportation. Linking Words
Besides
, decent savings and Linking Words
high-paid
jobs would expand our social circle and lead us to a superior hierarchy. On top of that, the dollars we earn usually could equip us with more self-esteem and self-confidence. Correct your spelling
high-paying
For example
, individuals look up to some individuals who are wealthy from Linking Words
time
to Use synonyms
time
, because the lifestyles they harbour are greatly luxurious and relaxed. Use synonyms
In addition
, there is an unavoidable fact that polishing and refining our skills and abilities usually takes a lot of money.
Linking Words
On the other hand
,there are many other aspects that Linking Words
also
deserve our second thought. Linking Words
Firstly
, when job hunters face many companies, they should consider more about whether they can improve their skills and help them to make progress in their professional development. Linking Words
Moreover
, a friendly and inclusive atmosphere and a supportive leader all are essential aspects and should be considered. Linking Words
For instance
, no one wants to work with a leader who likes to suppress employees and stay in an impersonal company for a long Linking Words
time
. Use synonyms
Apart from
Linking Words
this
, they need to promise them a bright future, because it means they should judge the industry they join whether is in the sunrise. Linking Words
As well as
that, location is an important element in their consideration. If they spend Linking Words
much
Rephrase
too much
time
commuting, they Use synonyms
would
Wrong verb form
will
be
exhausted after the frequent traffic.
In conclusion, I can understand the reason why individuals choose salary as the most important consideration when choosing a job, but I would argue that there are more vital matters that need to be considered.Verb problem
become
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task response
Your essay demonstrates a good grasp of the topic and presents relevant ideas. Make sure to provide examples that directly relate to the points you make to further strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are supported with relevant examples. To improve, ensure a smoother connection between sentences and paragraphs to enhance overall coherence.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is varied and mostly appropriate. To further enrich your lexical resource, consider incorporating more advanced vocabulary and idiomatic expressions relevant to the theme.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, and sentences are well-constructed. Aim to vary your sentence structures and use more complex grammatical forms to enhance the overall grammatical range.