the diagram below shows the stages in the recycling of aluminium drinks cans. Summaris the information by selectin and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

the diagram below shows the stages in the recycling of aluminium drinks cans.

Summaris the information by selectin and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
The diagram presents a variety sets of actions in order to take advantage of wasted bottles.
Overall
, it is a continual process comprising the acts of collection, recycling,
as well as
selling in the drinks machines.
Aluminium
drink packages are mostly found in vending machines. After being discharged, these cnas need to be taken to special collection centres
instead
of being thrown away with common refuse. The bottle
then
is transported to a recycling facility which has a specialized plant to manufacture
aluminium
. Once taken to the plant, the bottles are first melted down.
Subsequently
, the
aluminium
resulting from the melting process is formed and becomes solid blocks of
aluminium
. It was followed by the act of rolling out a plat to produce
aluminium
rolls. Eventually, the given metal is ready to be recycled into new packaging,
such
as drink containers.
Finally
, the novel canister is delivered to a soft drinks factory where they are filled. The cans can now be sold to the public and reused
Submitted by kevindang020907 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words aluminium with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Recycling bins
  • Collection centers
  • Sorting
  • Debris
  • Compacting
  • Molten aluminium
  • Purification
  • Ingots
  • Rolled
  • Manufactured
  • Distribution
  • Energy consumption
  • Efficiency
  • Lifecycle
What to do next:
Look at other essays: