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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph shows children by age group as a percentage of the young population in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2001.

The graph shows children by age group as a percentage of the young population in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2001.
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The provided chart illustrates the proportion of British children as per the
age
Use synonyms
 stages among 12 years of population rate.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that across the chart there is a dramatic variation between the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
 and the end of the
period
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
while
Linking Words
 the oldest
age
Use synonyms
 stage 15-19 reported the highest percentage
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1990 and recorded just over 26%, they recorded a dramatic decline over the chart.
However
Linking Words
, the lowest
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 10-14 showed roughly 23%
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1990, and climbed gradually to reach the highest peak
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the lowest percentage
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
 was given to the youngest aged 0-4 when boasted nearly under 24%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 5-9 demonstrated a slight steadiness in comparison with other groups
whereas
Linking Words
 provided at 1990 proportion just under 25%,
this
Linking Words
group
Use synonyms
 showed a constant marginal increase but again decreased in 2001 to meet with the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 15-19 almost at 25%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, period, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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