Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this option?
Children
is
a gift from God that Change the verb form
are
parents
need to be grateful for and and
take good care of it. Recently, Remove the redundancy
apply
the
information Correct article usage
apply
tell
a violent crime Change the verb form
tells
from
teenagers has been increasing. Several psychologists state the fundamental reason Change preposition
among
of
Change preposition
for
this
incident is the
Correct your spelling
that
children
are not get
Change the verb form
are not getting
the
awareness of their mental health from Correct article usage
apply
parents
and teachers. However
, i
would argue that Change the capitalization
I
learning
Correct article usage
a learning
attitute
should take as a main consideration by Correct your spelling
attitude
pay
more attention to Change the verb form
paying
children
and searching for the best school from
them.
Change preposition
for
Firstly
, the reason why children
is
brat because they Add a missing verb
are is
dont
get Correct your spelling
don't
a
more attention from their Correct determiner usage
any
parents
. The
family who is busy with their own business and not caring Correct article usage
A
each
other will destroy Change preposition
for each
children's
mental health. They will feel lonely and Correct article usage
the children's
seeking
a more comfortable escape outside the home. Wrong verb form
seek
For example
, a teenager from Surabaya caught
by the police because he acts to Add a missing verb
was caught
stole
handphone's people. After investigation, it turns out that he is jealous of people who have good Wrong verb form
steal
cellphones
because his Correct your spelling
cell phones
parents
never bought him one.
Secondly
, rough people is
caused by not Change the verb form
are
get
a proper education. It will increase their possibility of doing Wrong verb form
getting
a crimes
because the teachers don't care about their students. Correct the article-noun agreement
crimes
a crime
In
the other hand, the Change preposition
On
parents
don't have enough money to give the
best school that they can. Correct pronoun usage
them the
For example
, the youngsters from Cirebon commit sexual harrasment
because the brain is already brainwashed to Correct your spelling
harassment
spol
women. From that accident, the Correct your spelling
spoil
children
will fall into promiscuity because they are in a bad environment.
In conclusion, the parents
and the teachers play an important role to
the youngsters who Change preposition
in
is
under Change the verb form
are
aged
by Change the form of the verb
age
pay
more attention to Change the verb form
paying
children
and searching for the best school Correct pronoun usage
their children
from
them. If Change preposition
for
this
incident continues to be ignored, it will damage the nation's children
in the future.Submitted by aulia2207nadila on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite