Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this option?

Children
is
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are
show examples
a gift from God that
parents
need to be grateful for and
and
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apply
show examples
take good care of it. Recently,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
tell
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tells
show examples
a violent crime
from
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among
show examples
teenagers has been increasing. Several psychologists state the fundamental reason
of
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for
show examples
this
incident is
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
children
are not get
Change the verb form
are not getting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness of their mental health from
parents
and teachers.
However
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
would argue that
learning
Correct article usage
a learning
show examples
attitute
Correct your spelling
attitude
should take as a main consideration by
pay
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paying
show examples
more attention to
children
and searching for the best school
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
them.
Firstly
, the reason why
children
is
Add a missing verb
are is
show examples
brat because they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
get
a
Correct determiner usage
any
show examples
more attention from their
parents
.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
family who is busy with their own business and not caring
each
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for each
show examples
other will destroy
children's
Correct article usage
the children's
show examples
mental health. They will feel lonely and
seeking
Wrong verb form
seek
show examples
a more comfortable escape outside the home.
For example
, a teenager from Surabaya
caught
Add a missing verb
was caught
show examples
by the police because he acts to
stole
Wrong verb form
steal
show examples
handphone's people. After investigation, it turns out that he is jealous of people who have good
cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phones
show examples
because his
parents
never bought him one.
Secondly
, rough people
is
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are
show examples
caused by not
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
a proper education. It will increase their possibility of doing
a crimes
Correct the article-noun agreement
crimes
a crime
show examples
because the teachers don't care about their students.
In
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On
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the other hand, the
parents
don't have enough money to give
the
Correct pronoun usage
them the
show examples
best school that they can.
For example
, the youngsters from Cirebon commit sexual
harrasment
Correct your spelling
harassment
because the brain is already brainwashed to
spol
Correct your spelling
spoil
women. From that accident, the
children
will fall into promiscuity because they are in a bad environment. In conclusion, the
parents
and the teachers play an important role
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the youngsters who
is
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are
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under
aged
Change the form of the verb
age
show examples
by
pay
Change the verb form
paying
show examples
more attention to
children
Correct pronoun usage
their children
show examples
and searching for the best school
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
them. If
this
incident continues to be ignored, it will damage the nation's
children
in the future.
Submitted by aulia2207nadila on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • juvenile crime
  • social and emotional learning
  • parental guidance
  • educational system
  • technology addiction
  • media influence
  • behavioral patterns
  • societal issues
  • economic disparities
  • comprehensive intervention
  • crime prevention strategies
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