Your local public library wants to make improvements to their services and facilities. In order to get ideas from the public, they have asked library users to send them suggestions in writing. Write a letter to the librarian. In your letter -describe what you like about the library - say what you don’t like - make suggestions for improvements.

#library #improvements #services #facilities #users #suggestions #librarian #-describe #don’t

Dear Sir or Madam, I hope

this

letter finds you well. I am one of your regular customers and I am writing

this

letter to give my suggestion regarding how to improve your

library

services and facilities. Let me elaborate on the

situations

Fix the agreement mistake

situation

show examples

Firstly

, I enjoy your current services because you provide

variety

Add an article

a variety

show examples

of books compared to other libraries, not solely education books but

also

entertainment books.

In addition

, the computer room is one of my

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

to read because the room is spacious.

Furthermore

, there are some unpleasant experiences when I visit your

library

, the place is inconvenient to study because

inadequate

Change preposition

of inadequate

show examples

tables, so I have to seat on the floor.

Furthermore

, the

library

working hours

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

too short only

start

Wrong verb form

starting

show examples

from 9 am to 16 pm.

Therfore

Correct your spelling

Therefore

,as a student I have to rush to your

library

to borrow the book. I kindly suggest you

Remove the particle

apply

show examples

add more seats for people to read.

Additionally

, I greatly appreciate

Correct pronoun usage

it if

show examples

you can

extent

Replace the word

extend

show examples

the opening hours from 8 am to 18 pm. Thank you for considering my idea and I am looking forward to your reply. Yours sincerely, Jun

Submitted by wilztan6700 on Sat Aug 05 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

189 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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