IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The world of work is changing rapidly and people cannot rely on the same job or working conditions the whole life. What are the causes for these changes? How should people prepare for work in the future?

#world #work #people #job #conditions #life #changes #future
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Undoubtedly, the advancement of technology has changed
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
show examples
 work industry, and so individuals would have to put reliance on
alternate
Replace the word
alternatives
show examples
.
Therefore
, several factors including the crucial boom of
Dotcom
Correct article usage
the Dotcom
show examples
 bubble would be the cause of
this
 prospect. For
this
, the essay will examine both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
fundamental
Fix the agreement mistake
fundamentals
show examples
 and
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 of
this
. The innovation of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 has significantly changed the IT corporate world, where new innovative ideas are causing sudden changes
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
an environment
show examples
 of employment.
However
, top
multi national
Correct your spelling
multinational
show examples
 companies have
stated
Correct your spelling
started
show examples
 to laid off their old
emploess
Correct your spelling
employees
employers
 because of a new working condition.
Furthermore
,
Add an article
the individual
an individual
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 would have to find
second
Correct article usage
a second
show examples
 job
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a security
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
, if they lose their primary one.
Reality
Add an article
The reality
show examples
 of
this
 situation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 turning into
dilemma
Correct article usage
a dilemma
show examples
.
Fir
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
 example,
Add an article
the employee
an employee
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 would rather have to deal with their mental health condition for any instance changes could
be occurred
Change to the active voice
occur
have occurred
show examples
 anytime on their work. Preparation would be
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 key component to determine
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 changes,
whereas
 technological
development
 would consider the main cause
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
these occurrence
Change the determiner
this occurrence
these occurrences
show examples
. In terms of preparation
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
, circumstances
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 integrated with human nature,
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 employers would have to update with
latest
Change the article
the latest
show examples
 trend in society.
For instance
, if we consider
teaching
Correct article usage
the teaching
show examples
 profession as an example,
then
 they should have to keep up with
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 education policy and they may need to change their teaching style
accordingly
.
In addition
, corporate workers could
also
 educate themselves to look for various
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 to be distinguished in their field. If we talk about
latest
Add an article
the latest
show examples
development
 of employees, which are freezers and
beginner
Fix the agreement mistake
beginners
show examples
 in the market,
then
 they would
also
 have to undermine
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 consequences for their bright future.
Due to
this
,
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
development
 and technology should be our first priority to learn and keep ourselves with ongoing
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
.
In contrast
, the globe has already entered into
modern
Add an article
a modern
the modern
show examples
 phase of working culture.
Although
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
staying on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
track
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the latest tech can
obliged
Change the verb form
oblige
show examples
 our personal
development
,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
every employee should have to precautious about changing job surroundings.
Submitted by user349953 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: