IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below provides information about female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.

The graph below provides information about female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.
The graph below provides information about female
unemployment
Use synonyms
 rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014. There are two basic general trends. We can see that in
England
Use synonyms
 and
Scotland
Add a comma
,Scotland
show examples
 the problem of
unemployment
Use synonyms
 shows
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 percentage.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2013 In
Use synonyms
England
Add a comma
,England
show examples
 it was 6,8
percent
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in 2014 it became 6.5
percent
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in
Scotland
Add a comma
,Scotland
show examples
 the graph shows that
idleness
Correct article usage
the idleness
show examples
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 women rose from 6.1 to 6.7
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. We can see that in Wales and Northern
Ireland
Add a comma
,Ireland
show examples
 it declined dramatically.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 there are slightly lower women without work. Only 4.6 to 5.6
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of women are unemployed in Wales and Northern Ireland. In general, we can say that the problem of
unemployment
Use synonyms
 is less popular in Northern Ireland rather than
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
 countries, in comparison with
England
Use synonyms
. Because it is noticeable that in
England
Use synonyms
 the
unemployment
Use synonyms
 among females
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 higher.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, england, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provides" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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